Just Bundles of Paper.....

Or are they? These large bound piles of slaughtered trees and meaningless rantings by a guy/girl whom I will never meet is what is going to consume most of my waking hours over the course of the next 8 months. Seem like a waste of time? Experts say not, so I guess I'm diving right in. I have no objection to learning, I actually quite like it. I like understanding interesting topics, and being able to use them. I've always liked school. But I have two main problems with this pile of stuff sitting on my beautiful comforter in the above picture. To begin, I AM A VERY LAZY PERSON. Yes, I know, its a shock. But I really am. If this were my ideal world, it would go something like this. I could sit down on the couch and watch TV, eating whatever I wanted, not gaining any weight and having someone I cared about sitting right there with me. Yeah, I love going out and walking, hiking, and having adventures. But yet again, I am really lazy, so the first one is my default. And secondly, and probably more importantly, I am absolutely terrified. I have always set a specific standard of excellence for myself. I don't hold anyone else to it, only myself, nor do I judge others who do not hold the same ideal. But if I fall short of it, then it torments me. That may seem like a strong word, but believe me when I say that it really isn't. I'm scared of not meeting that, because I would be letting myself down. I'm scared because I'm entering a whole new world of education, and new worlds means new rules. AND I'm dishing out some serious cash to make this happen. Is it worth it? I know the answer is yes, but you can't help but wonder. This is a very scary time in my life and I don't even have anyone around to just run to if I want a hug. I left that all behind me. So I know I just have suck it up, and grow up. But I'm still just a kid. I have a lot of growing up to do, a lot of mistakes to make, and a serious period of strengthening to go through. I've been praying so much lately. I feel so alone and so (I know I'm saying this quite a bit) scared. ANYWAY! All this after a picture of books, MAN I'm a basket case. :P