Let's Try This Again, Shall We?

When I was in the last days of high school, I became overly excited about ending that phase of my life and starting university. I thought it would be so different, so wonderful. I had these big dreams of how amazing things would be and that I would be so happy. And don't get me wrong, it is definitely quite different than anything I have experienced and I do quite enjoy it. Its great. I'm not too fond of what I'm studying right now, but that's already set to change next year. But I've realized that it isn't all that splendor that I had planned in that faraway place of high school. And I know perfectly why, but I've been denying it for some time now. Its me. If I want my life to be wonderful, then I need to make it so. If I expect anything to change then I need to change. I can't do the same things repeatedly and expect a different result. That's not how things work. And its scary, and sometimes I wonder what will happen. I know its going to be hard. Its going to be extremely difficult but I'm sick and tired of being me. Not myself precisely, but I'm tired of the way I have been for so long. Sometimes one just needs to jump off the cliff and build their wings on the way down. I'm going to make mistakes in this process. I'm going to fall and I'm going to get hurt. But it'll all be worth it in the end, because I'll be where and who I want to be. So lets try this again, shall we? Lets begin making things different and beautiful. Let's be healthy, studious, kind, and most importantly, happy. Lets be around the people I want to be around and do the things I have and want to do. It's not going to be cleanly cut, there will be rough edges cute in the sides. But at least it will happen. I can't expect the world to do me a favor, I have to do it myself. And its quite exciting actually. 

Let the light shine through the darkness

Dance in the rain

See the world differently

Ponder the Stars

Remember where you're going, and what you have to do to get there

Don't be afraid to imagine the impossible for "in dreams we enter a world that is entirely our own."

Update: Moffat Rips My Heart Out

No, we most certainly are not okay. The season finale of my all-time favorite show was this past Saturday, and in said episode, we had to say goodbye to two beloved characters. Now, this show has been running for 50 years, so we periodically have to say goodbye to people who we've fallen in love with over the past couple of seasons as Steven Moffat, the writer, gets rid of them in some sad and depressing way. Don't get me wrong, the man's a genius. But he thinks of the saddest, most depressing endings imaginable. This time, the Ponds were sent back in time, to a place where the Doctor can't return. It isn't one of those times where we MIGHT see them again in a random episode. They died. Admittedly it was a perfect ending. They ended up living out the rest of their lives together. But, but, but, they broke his heart. 

And mine too. I LOVED Amy and Rory. But that's another thing about this show, you fall so in love with all of the characters that you are legitimately depressed when they're gone. I really, truly know how pathetic it seems that I'm writing about this in my blog and how incredibly attached I am to this show and all of its characters, but I just have to let this out. I adore everything about Doctor Who. It is so well written, and this episode, Angels Take Manhattan, the ending was wonderful. But it was wonderfully sad. I am going to miss them like I miss everyone who enters this show, captures your heart and leaves again. I hate endings. And even though the show isn't ending, Amy and Rory are. It still makes me sad every time I think about it. All of the Whovians are in this depression mode right now, and no one else knows. I don't know what else to say. I'll get over it. I'll re-watch the Pond's seasons for the next little while and then I'll fall in love with his next companion until she's killed off too. I love this show. Its marvelous. But anyway, goodbye Ponds. You were FANTASTIC. And you'll be missed. 

Romney Rant

I'm going to get this out right away so that's no confusion. I am LDS, which in modern language means that I am Mormon. As is presidential candidate Gov. Mitt Romney. I do not have a political affiliation but I take great interest in what both parties have to say and I care a great deal about the future of my country and the hands in which we place that future. I'd like to talk about Romney. He seems like a phenomenal man, a great leader, father, etc. I can't say for sure but I'm guessing from what I've seen. And yes, I do rather like the idea of having an LDS president. BUT THAT DOES NOT GOVERN MY VOTE!! I'm sorry, but I do not think, by any means, that one should vote for someone for their religion, because, truthfully, that's like voting for someone because they have a wonderful smile or sense of style. It looks nice, and it makes us happy to see him, but in what politically backwards universe does that make someone a good candidate to govern one of the most powerful countries in existence? I can understand if people decided to vote for him because they agreed with his policy, or his ideas for reforming a crippled country, but if you listen to all of his interviews and speeches, he doesn't give any indication of what those are. It sounds nice though, when he says it. It sounds like he knows what he's talking about, but he's not giving us a plan. Now I've been paying more attention to political chatter and listening to speeches and things like that recently because, even though I can't vote in this election, it matters to me who lives in the White House. And what I have observed is this: since the election of President Barack Obama, the Republican Party has acted like a group of bratty children. They didn't win, and therefore they are going to sit back and disagree with everything that comes before them just to spite the man who beat their guy. And when things didn't automatically fix themselves, they set about pointing fingers at the president, yelling as loudly as possible to all that will hear that the president didn't keep his promises. But look at it this way, the Republicans put an incompetent child in office, who destroyed the economy and started a costly war. By the time Bush left office, the US was a mess that was left for the next sucker who came into office to fix. It happened to be Obama and he had plans to clean it up. BUT HE COULD NOT DO IT ON HIS OWN! He needed help and cooperation, not just from his party but from the Republicans as well. But no, they sat back as he fumbled around trying to fix things while they turned down every bill and reform that he put on the table, even if the logic was sound and the solution one that could help American workers. Like I mentioned before, a group of bratty children, sore losers, who pouted for four years until they again had the chance to fight for the House again. And I don't think they're doing that great of a job. "Our campaign will not be dictated by fact-checkers." ......... And that is blatantly obvious, now isn't it? In their speeches, they have leveled offences against the president that hold no ground in fact. Now that's a campaign strategy that I've never heard before. And I really don't know how this campaign is going to go. I have relatives who are very vocal about their political beliefs in favor of Obama, and many friends (LDS friends, I might add) who are in the hole for Romney. I guess what I'm trying to say here is, firstly, don't vote for a man because you share his religion and because you think it would be amazing to have an LDS president. I personally think it would be cool too, and I even asked myself what would be so bad if he did take office. And then I started to listen to what he had to say. And it was an elegantly woven, eloquently stated PIECE OF CRAP. And secondly, don't dismiss a man who took office after a disaster took place on his soon-to-be doorstep and blame him for not cleaning up the Republicans mess fast enough. Give him another chance. You have no idea what obstacles he faced but you do know one thing, one thing that you really can't in good conscience deny, he tried. Look harder at what these politicians are saying, because this isn't just about who gets to move into the White House, its about our futures.  

Just Bundles of Paper.....

Or are they? These large bound piles of slaughtered trees and meaningless rantings by a guy/girl whom I will never meet is what is going to consume most of my waking hours over the course of the next 8 months. Seem like a waste of time? Experts say not, so I guess I'm diving right in. I have no objection to learning, I actually quite like it. I like understanding interesting topics, and being able to use them. I've always liked school. But I have two main problems with this pile of stuff sitting on my beautiful comforter in the above picture. To begin, I AM A VERY LAZY PERSON. Yes, I know, its a shock. But I really am. If this were my ideal world, it would go something like this. I could sit down on the couch and watch TV, eating whatever I wanted, not gaining any weight and having someone I cared about sitting right there with me. Yeah, I love going out and walking, hiking, and having adventures. But yet again, I am really lazy, so the first one is my default. And secondly, and probably more importantly, I am absolutely terrified. I have always set a specific standard of excellence for myself. I don't hold anyone else to it, only myself, nor do I judge others who do not hold the same ideal. But if I fall short of it, then it torments me. That may seem like a strong word, but believe me when I say that it really isn't. I'm scared of not meeting that, because I would be letting myself down. I'm scared because I'm entering a whole new world of education, and new worlds means new rules. AND I'm dishing out some serious cash to make this happen. Is it worth it? I know the answer is yes, but you can't help but wonder. This is a very scary time in my life and I don't even have anyone around to just run to if I want a hug. I left that all behind me. So I know I just have suck it up, and grow up. But I'm still just a kid. I have a lot of growing up to do, a lot of mistakes to make, and a serious period of strengthening to go through. I've been praying so much lately. I feel so alone and so (I know I'm saying this quite a bit) scared. ANYWAY! All this after a picture of books, MAN I'm a basket case. :P

Ladies and Gentlemen, I Now Present to You, a College Student!

First day outfit!! 

So I started university this week!! I know, its crazy. How the heck did I get this far? How did I get so old? But I actually love it. And its not really all about the social scene, but I actually like class. And I realize that I'm a complete nerd, but that's okay. I know I'm not alone ;). Hahaha. But anyway! I'm taking Biology, Chemistry, Calculus, Latin, and Development of Western Thought. Its an absolutely insane schedule. Most days I have 4 lectures, one right after the other, and either a tutorial or lab later that day. I'm going to be so crazily busy, but I love being busy. As for living on my own....I miss home like crazy and my family so much! But I like controlling my day and managing my time the way I want to. I'm adjusting to it quite easily. 

This is my lovely desk, and on it, I'd like to introduce RORY!! Yeah, that's my oh-so-beautiful laptop. He's gorgeous, ain't he? And yes, I did name him after a Doctor Who character. But that's just because my life revolves around Doctor Who. Well, not really. But kinda ;). But he's my baby. 

                                        

And this, of course is my room!! Its not all that preppy and pretty, but I've never been that kind of girl. Its all quite functional and I like it. And one thing you'll also notice is the LACK OF ROOMMATE! I know, its wonderful. I can sleep when I want and its all to myself. Thanks again, to Dr.Currie, for giving me a scholarship :P. But yeah! I'm a college student now. There's no going back. My life has completely changed and I'm really still trying to adjust to it. Its so different and I've never been one to like "different". But I think I'm going to like it here, even if I avoid the avid partying and stuff like that. So here's to my new life, my new adventure. May it be wonderful and full of pleasant surprises! And same to all of you....the two of you that probably read my blog.....haha. 

Starting Something New...

So it appears that I'm starting a blog. I guess I'm doing this because I feel too often that I don't always have the opportunity or the courage to say what I want to at the moment, or express my voice. And I'm tired of it. I'm tired of being stifled by the world and the people around me. I have something to say, I have a point of view, an opinion, stories to tell--and sometimes I want to share it. But I have this deep-seeded, immovable feeling deep inside me that tells me that nobody cares what I have to say, that my thoughts are entirely without merit or that the people I am speaking to will find what I say uninteresting or dull. And this has, for so long, prevented me from saying much of anything. I keep to myself and I don't believe that this is entirely because I'm shy of people, but that, behind it all, I'm scared of people's opinions of me. I've never thought very highly of myself. But at this moment, I'm tired of not speaking. And it doesn't matter to me whether or not people listen. At least I'm saying something. And its not that what I'm thinking has some profound impact on the future of society, just that I want to say it. So I'm Megan. I'm 17 years old. I'm heading off to college in about 6 days. And this, my friends, will be a record of my adventures.